“Howdy” sounds a lot like “How ya doin.” That’s probably why people reply “good” instead of saying “hi” back to me.

I’ve always been an advocate of rationality. We’ve got these awesome brains, so we might as well use them. There are all these ridiculously complex equations our brains can work out to get us what we desire, and if we correctly work out the equations and correctly execute each step, we’re guaranteed to reach our goals. When two goals interfere, unless they’re contradictory (which theoretically is impossible because it’s impossible to both want and not want something), the brain can work out a new equation that will accommodate both desires. The only problem is when you add more goals, you add more steps to these equations, and when you add more steps, it’s going to take more time to execute. Unfortunately, our time is limited. So the question becomes, what do we sacrifice: our goals or our rationality? Remember, correct rationale is guaranteed to bring us to our goals. If we abandon rationality, we leave it up to chance. If we abandon our goals (which, theoretically, yield maximum happiness which I’ll assume to be the meaning of life), then we abandon maximum happiness. Note: if it would make you happier to abandon your goals, then these goals are not your true desires, and I’m assuming goals to be true desires.

At the moment, I cannot answer this question.

There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s right fucking here and now, because this is the only time you know you have. You can’t change the past and for all you know there may not be a tomorrow, so that just leaves now. Take it and run with it. Run as far as you can and never look back, because unless you’re shitting pixie dust, there is nothing behind you that is more magical than what lies ahead. So quit sitting around on your damn computer and live!

In life one and one don’t make two

One and one make one

And I’m looking for that free ride to me

I’m looking for you

The Who “Bargain”

Stand in the place where you live

Now face North

Think about direction

Wonder why you haven’t before

Stand in the place where you work

Now face West

Think about the place where you live

Wonder why you haven’t before

R.E.M. “Stand”

Don’t let their likeness fool you.

Love and Lust are eternities apart.

It is the difference between happiness and a happy ending.

One lasts a lifetime.

The other, just a moment. A burst of happiness that spoils all other moments. Nothing so sweet as lust. And the more you have, the more you want. Like a drug. Soon controlling your every thought and act. From drug to plague. Until the pleasure is gone. But by then you know no other pleasures. Game over.

But love, love is eternal.

Each day I pray it turn to night so I might close my eyes

Escape from truth drowned in vermouth so mind might improvise

And now endow those thoughts of her with hair of golden brown

And as I dream I watch her gleam in white lace taffeta gown

This is a producer’s note found on the inside cover of Chicago’s first album.

“The name of this endeavor is simply “The Chicago Transit Authority.” For the last thirteen months these seven individuals have performed in Chicago, Los Angeles and San Francisco as the C.T.A. So, if for nothing else than practical logic, they have chosen to title this work appropriately after their professional identity. The purpose of this commentary, however, is an attempt at documenting the complete rejection of any name label, title or verbal reference relative to the performance contained herein. Corporately as well as individually, this artist endeavors to be judged in terms of contribution alone rather than through the tag affixed upon it. The printed word can never aspire to document a truly musical experience, so if you must call them something, speak of the city where all save one were born; where all of them were schooled and bred, and where all of this incredible music went down barely noticed; call them CHICAGO.”

I’ve had some major revelations recently. Every time one pops up, I’ll add it to this list:

The Size of a Small Pea: Whenever I’d ask my dentist how much toothpaste to use while brushing, she would say “no more than the size of a small P.” Now this always confused me, because letters come in all sizes. Small like Times New Roman size 12 or small like newspaper headline. And moreover, why P? Wouldn’t any letter really suffice? So here I’ve been for the last twelve years or so trying to draw tiny P’s onto the bristles of my toothbrush. Then it hit me. PEA. Like the vegetable! It all makes sense now!!!

Hump Day: Don’t judge me on this one. When I first heard the phrase “Wednesday is Hump Day,” I must have been thirteen years old. I had a very dirty mind when I was thirteen years old. I’d walk into school and say “Ugh, it’s only Wednesday,” and I’d hear people say, “Cheer up! Wednesday is Hump Day!” Now I’m no fool. I knew Hump Day was not a real holiday, but nonetheless it made Wednesdays better. So I’d hump things every now and then. A lamp. A desk. Nothing major. I’ve been using that phrase for the last five years referencing humping things. Then it hit me. Hump, like a camel. Because Wednesday’s right in the middle of the week! It all makes sense now!!!

Buzz Kill: I never really knew where this term came from until the other day. I always thought is was in reference to the buzzing of a bee. And when someone killed a buzzing bee, it would be a buzz kill. The bee was just trying to have a good time and you killed it. Then at a party the other day, someone said “You’re killing my buzz.” A buzz induced by alcohol, not by bees. DUHH. It all makes sense now!!!

Play It by Ear: Figured this one out at the beach today. Never really questioned it before, but Zach brought to my attention that it was an odd phrase that’s used so casually. You play a piece of music by ear, not a situation. It must have originated with some musicians who couldn’t decide on a set list until they got together. It wasn’t planned. They just figured it out as they went. They played it by ear. It all makes sense now!!!

Ends Meet: I hadn’t really seen this spelt out before. Thought the phrase was “Can’t make ends MEAT.” Like another way of saying you can’t put bread on the table. Then I saw it spelled out. Is it sad that it made more sense to me the first way?